I met her in an X-Files chat,
joking about first contact.
And we talked all night about disclosure and abductees.

We had so much in common,
We bonded on Blake's 7,
She sounded like the perfect fracking geek.

She found me every night online,
with a DM and a bottle of wine,
She knew it all from Aliens to Zardoz.

She said she was an ET,
which was really sexy to me,
And I thought it was just a big joke because.

She said she was from Alpha Centauri,
I thought that was a code for a town in Missouri.
She used to joke about ruling the human race
That's when I got Catfished from Space.

She said she's an otherworldly monster,
That would come to Earth to slaughter,
but that she would do her best to help me to survive.

She talked about her tentacles,
and three sets of genitals,
I just thought she was a fan of Hentai.

I didn't care if she was pretty,
I knew she was the girl for me,
when she said her favorite cookbook was 'To Serve Man'

Scheduling a meet up,
so that we could hook up,
She said she had the perfect place to land.

She said she was from Alpha Centauri,
I thought that was a code for a town in Missouri.
She used to joke about ruling the human race
That's when I got Catfished from Space.

When I woke from where I lay,
It was like Independence Day,
A big V mothership right over my town.

The army put up quite a fight,
But was gone by Dawn's early light,
that was the day Humanity went down.

It's not quite happily ever after,
because the planet's a disaster,
I'm the human pet that's closest to her hearts.

It's like Battlefield Earth you know,
post-apocalyptic scenario,
I just wish I'd believed her from the start.

When she said she was from Alpha Centauri,
I thought that was a code for a town in Missouri.
She used to joke about ruling the human race
That's when I got Catfished from Space.